Things I’ve learned

Oh no, she’s feeling contemplative around her birthday…

I am not really a Quotes Hun. Every now and then I’ll come across something on Instagram that strikes a chord but if I’m honest, passages of preachy words from enlightened self-help gurus don’t really do it for me. I never got The Secret, I didn’t buy the orange manifesting book and I think astrology is a bit of a swizz (do NOT @ me). (I do enjoy a vision board, but I think that’s cos it feels like a project and involves cutting up magazines and using Pritt Stick.)

However, I find right now that I’ve become quite pensive. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that I’m making big changes in my life, but it’s mostly because I’m turning 37 this weekend. By now I feel I’ve gleaned some wisdom worth sharing. I mean, I’ve always forced my thoughts on others through countless features and columns, but this is the more personal, more insular stuff that’s accumulated over time.

So if you’d permit me, I’d like to share some of the most clichéd yet rewarding idioms and truths I’ve come to know.

Rome wasn’t built in a day 

I am SO IMPATIENT. Like, I want everything done NOW and I want it done BRILLIANTLY. This is a characteristic that has made me very good at my job; I don’t dilly-dally, I move and work quickly and I get shit done. However at times, it’s also led me to a generalised anxiety disorder, howling resentment and frustration, and near burnout. If Willy Shakespeare was writing a play about me, being dangerously keen would be my fatal flaw.

So I have learned that I must continue to learn to trust the passage of time. If you’re lucky, life is a marathon and not a sprint. Patience IS a virtue! See, I told you there would be idioms. 

Imposter syndrome never leaves you 

Never. Never, ever. And if it does, honestly, it might be time to try something new. 

Honesty is always the best policy

In every aspect of life. I’ve always been very honest in my writing, but I’ve struggled sometimes to be honest with myself. When I realised that fact, everything changed. 

Fortune favours the brave 

I just like this one! It sounds fun and mystical, like from a fantasy film.

Communication is key

If you are in a relationship, friendship or work situation that is avoidant or non-communicative, and it is eating away at your soul, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM IT. I am a talker, I am a listener, I am essentially a professional communicator. Nothing does more damage than things left unsaid. But try and do it, you know, soundly.

Never, ever settle 

In love, with friends, in work, within yourself. Stagnating out of fear or FOMO is a waste of your life.

Friends come and go, and it’s not always a bad thing 

This has been hard learned. Things change, and it doesn’t have to be awful or dramatic. Sometimes friendships ebb and flow, and that’s their beauty because there’s no other relationship like them.

Always trust your gut 

This goes back to honesty, but it also means something different, which is: be decisive. That leads me to…

Everything you do is a decision you make

We’re lucky enough to live in a country where (now! finally!) you pretty much always have a choice. In everything. Make your choices, big and small, and stand by them. You don’t have to do ANYTHING you do don’t want to do. 

Always acknowledge your privilege, and help anyone you can 

Write back to the texts and emails asking you for advice. Seek out those who perhaps don’t get the same opportunities as you did. I am forever grateful that people chose to take a chance on me, a girl from Tallaght with no experience but a hape of enthusiasm. And that they continue to do so today!

Moving your body helps with everything 

Ugh, this one is annoying but it’s so true. I am a sloth by nature, so it bugs me, okay?

BUT! Rest is essential

I liken it to plugging in to the Matrix. I need my couch time, my sleepy time, my alone time. Figure out how to give yourself the rest you need. There are seven kinds of it, don’tcha know.

Having fun is so fun!

This one is robbed from @Tinx. And it’s so true! Love the things you love ardently, even if they’re silly. Don’t let guilt or fear stop you having a damn good time! Enjoy yourself, for feck sake. Drink the wine, take the trip, eat the chips. We’re not here that long. (This may appear directly contradictory to point one, but both can be true - life is long and short and also what you make of it)

It’s the little things

Notice them. Let a trip to Aldi or sparkly frost on a windscreen spark joy.

No matter what you do, people are always going to find fault

I don’t think that humans are more divided than ever, I think we’re just more aware of our differences of opinion because of the internet. Look at Prince Harry - people feel SO STRONGLY about every nuance of the entire saga, and everything they think is coloured by their own lives and experiences. And now everyone has a forum to say what they want, of course it’s going to be a shitshow. I am a sensitive soul and a people pleaser, so not caring about what other people think of me is a work in progress, but my logical mind knows that haters gonna hate. So just do you! Do no harm, take no shit, and be yourself. 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. xoxo

Next week! Awards season so far… and the strange celeb connections on the red carpets in 2023.