The soothing antidote to the dumpster fire world we live in
Join me in escaping cynicism, won't you?
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve believed in the restorative power of the rom com. When we’re small, they’re first fed to us as fairy tales and cartoons - love stories and lessons about relationships with happy endings, but fantastical, either in animated form or about lands and characters far, far away - or sometimes both. Still, there’s a reason kids love them. They’re tall tales, sure, and often include magic, talking animals and absolute banger songs, but the message is clear - everything is going to be okay. Love conquers hate. Adversity makes us stronger. Good will triumph over evil.
As we grow up, these stories become less black and white, more complex and sadly, often have fewer bangers in them. But they scratch an itch in us when we’re feeling down, sick or listless. They can still make us believe in love, even the most cynical among us.
Right now, I need that message in my life. The world is perhaps the scariest it’s ever been in my lifetime. We’re watching the human race make all the same mistakes it made in the past, and then loads of news ones just to make 100% sure we royally screw ourselves. We’re all more connected yet more divided than ever. Innocence, purity and goodness feel in short supply. We’re so angry, but we’re misdirecting it at one another because we can’t reach those in power.
That’s why when it came to choosing a subject matter for my new podcast, I leaned in to the light. It’s not burying my head in the sand, it’s not plugging my ears and saying la-la-la I can’t see the horrors. It’s a decision to focus on happiness, focus on uplifting listeners. There are plenty of pods for news and hard-hitting injections of truth. Mine is an escape, much like my writing.
And the rom com is truly somewhere we can all escape. There is quite literally something for everybody in the genre, even those who think they hate romantic comedies. There are spooky rom coms, sexy rom coms, hilarious rom coms, tragic rom coms, teen rom coms, literary rom coms, gross-out rom coms and sports rom coms. Most of the great ones are set at this time of year, taking place in autumn and winter because it’s when we need them. Tis the season, as the clocks go back this weekend, to cosy up and FEEL something other than abject terror.
Some people get their kicks from true crime, and I say, whatever works. Listening to pods about the ills of humanity makes them feel lucky, grateful, exhilarated. That’s not the case for me. Vicarious terror just makes me terrified, from horror movies to grizzly cold cases to rollercoasters. One of the worst experiences I’ve ever had at work was when a PR company sent zombies in to the office to run around and terrify us all to promote a theme park. My nervous system was in a jock for a good month after that. I’m happy for for those who love being scared silly but it ain’t for me. I’m a softie, and I’m fine with that.
If you too are a softie, or just in need of some extra TLC right now, join me in the bright and comforting world of the rom com. The best ones are beautifully written, expertly executed and perfectly performed. Sure, you can read romance novels to get your fix (and I highly recommend this too), but a movie is instant gratification. It is pretty production design, gorgeous stars, palpable chemistry, lovely songs. It’s something to take you out of your own head, someone else to root for.
Still not convinced? Well, here are some personal recommendations…
10 Things I Hate About You
Perhaps the most sophisticated teen movie of them all, because it’s based on Shakespeare’s The Taming Of The Shrew and boy, it shows. It’s autumnal, it looks amazing, Heath Ledger is a babe and the soundtrack is awesome. It’s also the film discussed on this week’s You Had Me At Hello with the wonderful Jenny Claffey of
, and a great place to begin or continue your romantic comedy education. Listen on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods.When Harry Met Sally
A perfect film. 10/10, no notes. It hasn’t dated, TikTok huns are still coveting its aesthetic and Billy Crystal’s Aran jumper and it will make you long for the days of land lines and people’s original teeth.
Practical Magic
A rom com hiding in a spooky romp about witches, sisterhood and curses. It has perhaps the single best production design of any 90s film, to the point where Barbra Streisand wanted to buy the house featured and had to be told it didn’t exist in reality. Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman have never looked better, and there’s a hint of menace for those who like their movies a little dark.
Bridget Jones’ Diary
We’re getting a fourth film in the Bridget canon on Valentines Day, even though the third one was CRAP, and this one stars the ride that is Leo Woodall (One Day, The White Lotus). The original movie remains one of the best of the genre, telling the tale of single gal Bridge and her terrible taste in men. It has it all - enemies to lovers, public disorder, a love triangle and enormous pants. If you can get over the awful 90s body shaming throughout, it’s an absolute classic.
The Proposal
Watch this for Sandra Bullock’s hair and STUNNING autumnal outfits, gorgeous Alaskan scenery, a cute little dog and Ryan Reynolds before he got a bit annoying. I have found that straight men often enjoy this film also, if that helps.
Ghost
Demi Moore is having a comeback moment thanks to The Substance, and this one is pretty apt for this time of year. It’s got Patrick Swayze being sexy with a pottery wheel, a horrible (yet hot) villain and Whoopi Goldberg on Oscar-winning form. Remember when rom coms won Oscars?! Those were the days.
People lament the lack of decent rom coms these days, but these things are cyclical. Historically when the world has dealing with unprecedented times art has reflected that too. Right now, we’re all too cynical to flock to the cinema just to watch people fall in love. We’d rather watch action, fantasy, dramas, musicals en masse - spectacular things to remove us from the present and reality. Ordinary stories are too ordinary to warrant a trip to the movies. But the rom com genre deserves more than Lifetime flicks, and I believe it will come back. The appetite and thirst for it is there.
For now, join me and my fabulous guests to reminisce about the days when things were simpler. Nostalgia, she’s a powerful drug…