I couldn't help but wonder...
...how watching Sex and the City age 37 and 3/4 would feel
Like any millennial writer worth their salt, I have always been obsessed with Sex and the City. And for good reason - it’s brilliant. The writing, the performances, how it looks, how it feels… it was a cultural phenomenon, so it’s not exactly surprising that capitalism attempted to ruin it with Those Films We Don’t Count.
I have rewatched the series many, many times over the years, both on television as appointment viewing and on my dusty shoebox-style box set with scratched discs that sometimes skipped. I watched it again during lockdown on Sky, but can’t actually remember that go round at all - I probably had it on in the background while I was working, or else I’ve blanked out 2021 on the whole. Seriously, it’s like those twelve months never happened.
This time, I decided to watch my favourite show again consciously. I’m at that funny point in my new life when my novel is completed but not yet out, and I’m looking around for inspiration for what will hopefully become my second. Carrie and Co have always inspired me, and thanks to the wonders of technology I’m able to stream SATC anywhere on my beloved iPad. Joe says I’m like a child carrying it around, but would a child watch Samantha Jones riding on a sex swing? Jesus, I hope not!
This is the first time I’ve ever watched the series being older than the characters, though. Carrie is barely 33 when we first meet her and it is absolutely bizarre because to little me, they always seemed like such proper grown ups. They even seemed….. old (*winces*) to me when I watched them in my teens. It’s absolutely amazing how your perspective changes as you age, especially in relation to culture you’ve consumed throughout your life. For example, I now relate to the parents in Judy Blume novels and teen movies. But to be older than Carrie Bradshaw? It feels… impossible.
I want to slap her for worrying about being single at 35, and for not saving ANY money. I want to shake Charlotte for rushing in to a meh marriage with Trey because of her own imagined life timeline. I’m applauding Miranda for buying property alone so young, fancying the older men they sleep with, marvelling at their honed physiques and taut complexions. Here are a few things I’ve learned this time around…
Samantha Jones is a living icon
In the past, I’ve been guilty of thinking of Sam as a sort of caricature who could never be a real woman and actually behaved more like a parody of a gay man. While she does veer in to that territory in Those Movies, in the show she is far softer and more vulnerable than I ever remember her being. She’s older than the others (and still older than me!) so she’s been around the block, and while she certainly has a kinky approach to men and sex, she’s also the one who speaks the most sense. She’s not invulnerable to love, as I had misremembered; she has several long-term and heartbreaking dalliances throughout the show. She also has no qualms about riding for riding’s sake, and for that I commend her. Samantha Jones knows who she is, what she wants, and more importantly, what she doesn’t want. She’s my new hero.
I also want to point out that prim and proper Charlotte gets JUST as much action as Sam. She’s just playing a different game.
Carrie really can be an absolute wagon
I know we all know this by now, but she really gets extra wagony and self obsessed in season five when she ends things with Aidan for good, owns her apartment (after essentially demanding Charlotte help her pay for it) and fancies Berger. She is sooooo self-important in a neurotic, demanding way. Time makes her meaner, which I guess happens in real life. And whoever did her hair and makeup in season five and early six would want to take a long hard look at themselves.
My official ranking of Carrie’s Men:
1. Mr Big. GORGEOUS. Handsome, smooth, slick. Could be a bit withholding, but this is a rich, divorced man about town with a lot of experience and a line of willing ladies around the block. Carrie was a bit of a loon around Big, I wouldn’t have put up with her nonsense either. But once she chilled out and he got older, they were perfect. We will NOT speak of Those Films.
2 Aidan Shaw. Not as dreamy as I remember, and actually very annoying? I’d give him a dig if he bombarded me with questions when I walked in the door. They were never well-matched, always liked and wanted fundamentally different things. Hot, though. Especially in season four.
3 Every other man she encounters. Even the alcoholic who’s obsessed with her, and Justin Theroux the premature ejaculator. Even yer man from Mad Men who wants to wee on her!
4 Aleksandr Petrovsky. Not a great guy, very set in his ways and dry as the Sahara. Selfish. But not the worst. Oh no.
5 Jack Berger is the very worst. Way before the Post-It. From their very first meeting where he leads her on to him acting like a spoilt baby for the entire duration of their relationship, he is awful. And she doesn’t even enjoy the sex!!!!!!
And the rest…
Charlotte: Trey is a momma’s boy posh entitled weirdo. Harry is an icon.
Miranda: Blair Underwood’s Dr Robert Leeds was HOT, but he’s no Steve Brady. I would take a bullet for Steve Brady.
Samantha: James and his tiny willy always makes me LOL. She tried! Richard Wright was a walking red flag. Smith is nice but dim. Terrible actor, sheesh. And Maria was a MELTER! See, Samantha had loads of relationships!
The gays reign supreme. Stanny and Anthony are AMAZING throughout, and I’m livid they just married them off in the stupid fecking films.
The Economics
The whole money scenario of the show is very interesting because as the production values increase, so do the characters’ own net worths. We all wondered how Carrie lives on the UES and buys expensive shoes on a weekly column budget, but it’s explained - her apartment is rent controlled, the late Nineties were a different universe when it came to print journalism rates, and bitch didn’t have a cent of savings to her name. By way of contrast, Samantha owns her own business and pays SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS a month for her Meatpacking apartment. Miranda is a lawyer, so that explains her relative comfort. But Charlotte? Besides getting the vibe she comes from money, she doesn’t work for it once she marries Trey. Ever again. Mind-blowing levels of wealth right there - a different planet, like.
What’s Hot Then Is Hot Now
I’m just back from NYC (did I mention that? LOL) and soooo many of the places the ladies socialise at are back at the top of the tree there. Il Cantinori is still booming (President Biden loves it), Monkey Bar is still a place to see and be seen, Pastis and Balthazar still hopping. Some things never get old in New York.
So much is still so relevant
In so many ways, this doesn’t feel like a show from 25 years ago. They barely have email addresses, but they still obsess over guys getting in touch only they have answering machines instead of iPhones. They scour the New York Times and Page Six instead of Instagram for gossip about people they know. Their group chats are in person, appointments not to be missed. The only real difference is how technology has changed our lives, and not necessarily for the better.
Women have been dealing with the same issues around love, fertility, monogamy, motherhood, fidelity, health, looks and friendship forever. While that’s reassuring, and things are a little better for us nowadays in terms of opportunities, handling improprieties and having a voice, it’s also proof that we torture ourselves sometimes over things that will work themselves out over time - and some that won’t. The female experience is ever evolving, but at its core it’s about the same thing - finding contentment, what suits us personally and what soothes our souls.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my rewatch, and I’m happy to put the girls away now for a while. And Just Like That scratches the itch but to me, it’s like watching a different show entirely. The next time I turn to Carrie and Co, I’ll likely be over forty if I’m lucky and have a whole new set of issues and idiosyncrasies to relate to. And I can’t wait.