Everything is possible, but nothing is guaranteed

Sew that on a pillow!

The title of this newsletter is how I’ve been feeling a lot lately, and while it might be quite specific to my own situation at the moment, it can also be applied to a lot of different areas. For me, it’s kinda how I feel about life in general - that while we aren’t exactly entitled to anything and nothing will be handed to us, there are opportunities to be had if we go and get them. Specifically though, it’s how I feel about this limbo period between my first novel being completed and coming out. Anything can happen with this book and my future, but no particular outcome is set in stone, and it’s about feeling comfortable with that reality.

I’ve wanted to be an author for as long as I can remember. I was an avid consumer of books as a child because my parents read to me a lot, and my dad taught me to read a bit before I even went to Junior Infants (the privilege of being an only child). I’ve always loved storytelling, and that undoubtedly influenced my chosen career as a human interest and lifestyle journalist. But I always hoped against hope that one day, I’d get to write fiction and follow in the footsteps of my heroes Marian Keyes, Jackie Collins and Judy Blume. And while I’ve known that this was likely to happen for nearly a year, it’s only in the past few weeks that it’s truly felt like a reality.

My book is now basically done; it has been typeset and laid out, it’s about to be bound in to promotional proofs and start winging its way to influential book people in the coming weeks. It’s been edited, copy-edited, jigged about and the subject of many meetings and forward planning. It’s now much bigger than just me. Essentially, it’s real and happening which is something I hadn’t fully allowed myself to believe despite signing a contract! I have a publishing date, I’ve seen artwork and I know the time will fly from now on, from a cover reveal to pre-orders to the launch and related promotion. IT IS VERY EXCITING!

But it’s a long process, writing your debut novel. It involves a vast array of professionals and many rolling deadlines, and that’s even once you have a deal in place and balls are officially rolling. Coming from magazines, it’s been an adjustment because the longest I’ve gone without seeing my work in print (the equivalent of your homework being corrected and handed back) is about two months. This has all made me practice patience in a way I’ve never had to before, and in all honesty, it’s been very good for my personal development!!! LOL!

And this week’s headline occurred to me last week - I’m at the point in the cycle where anything and everything is possible with this book. My wildest hopes and dreams COULD come true, this COULD be my job forever now but nothing is yet guaranteed. There’s still so much work to be done to make sure people buy it, read it, enjoy it, recommend it. I’m hopeful and optimistic but I’m also being very realistic and trying not to lose the run of myself. I’ve hoped in the past about things that haven’t come to pass. My expectations are managed… I think.

But whatever happens with it all, I am so very proud of myself. I took an opportunity and I ran with it. I flat out refused to allow myself to mess it up at any stage, or to give up the ghost. I worked bloody hard. I’ve run the gamut of feelings from elation to terror to self-doubt. I’ve managed not to absolutely rot everyone else involved with my questions, excitement and eagerness. Best of all, I’ve had so much fun.

I think of teenage me writing novellas and short stories on her grandad’s word processor. I think of 30-year-old me being SO happy for my friend but also so painfully jealous when she got a book deal. I think of the characters I’ve created that are so real to me now, I feel like they’re family. I hope these good feelings persist. I hope I’m strong enough to handle criticism, both constructive and nasty. I hope, I hope, I hope.

Obviously as soon as I’m allowed, you guys will be the first to know everything. Your support this year has been incredible, I love this community and writing this Substack so damn much, I can’t ever see myself stopping. Well, until the robots come for us all. Remind me of that if I ever get too big for my boots, will you?